READ TO ME - Reading FAQs

	Can I read books out loud while she's sucking on her bottle (my breast)? Sometimes it seems that's all we do all day long.
		Sure. However, holding the baby, bottle and book may be too difficult. Some of us like to have "table conversation" rather than eat in silence.

		My baby keeps on turning the books around and upside down. I can't seem to get through reading them. Is the baby getting anything out of doing this?
			For most babies, books are like toys, things to discover. On the floor, upside down, in the baby's hands, books are full of surprises.

	My 5 month old grabs everything I am holding. It's impossible to read anything for more than about two seconds. I hate having the book grabbed out of my hands. What can I do about it?
		Early reading is partly a game, often just a point and name exercise. (Your baby is enjoying the game or else will squirm to get away). Have two books going at once. Read whatever you can point to and name (like boy, or ball, or red) until "your" book becomes the desired object. Then switch. And point to and name a few things in this second book, until the switch occurs again. Little by little, the baby will listen for more than a word or two, and you might be able to read more of a story.

	My new baby sleeps a lot. I feel silly reading to a sleeping baby. Why bother?
		Remember when the baby was in utero? Scientists, and many pregnant women, believe that the baby inside hears mother's voice and can be soothed or stimulated when hearing it. We are all sure they can hear the heartbeat, and probably other noises sloshing around inside, near the baby's fetal ears. So it stands to reason that your baby continues to hear even when asleep. The sound of your voice is reassuring. Why not enjoy yourself as you "baby-sit" a sleeping infant?


	My newborn baby seems calm and content one minute, and in the flash of a blink is horribly wriggling, writhing and noisy. I can't figure him out. What can I do?
		This is classic! There is no clear answer as to what's going on with your baby. Is it: hunger, digestion, discomfort, need to shift position, early memories of his birth, annoyance, even wordless rage? I think you need to try again another time. There's something very POWERFUL in such a small person, don't you think?

My baby drops everything toys, books, teddy, spaghetti and I feel like an overworked, underpaid servant picking things up. Any helpful tips?

Ah. THE DROP! This is one maneuver all babies try, indicating a developing mastery of manual dexterity and attention getting power. It is also the rediscovery of the scientific principle of Newtonian physics. (That's the one about apples and gravity.) Perhaps it's time to introduce nerf balls, and cloth or soft books, and a space where mess won't bother you too much. If the items dropped over the side interrupt your reading, try a time when the baby is more sleepy, perhaps cuddled in your arms having a warm bottle, when the "drop" may be off to sleep.

This connects also with a "baby on the move". After the baby begins to roll or crawl, and begins walking while holding on, sitting quietly in mommy's lap is less appealing. But here's a scientific truth long known by any parent: babies get tired. Therefore talk or tell stories or even read aloud while the explorations proceed. Later on, when the little person is tuckered out, she will stay nestled in your arms and let you read a short book. Pick your moments.

		We now have quite a lot of books. However, he only wants me to read one of them. Over and over and over. Why is this?
			So much in a baby's day is out of his control, and seems ever changing. Books don't change. Exact and frequent repetitions are reassuring. I hope the book your baby chooses as The One is enjoyable for you too. However, it is important to take his choice seriously. He may be "telling" you something important about his care and handling, letting this story "say" it. But we all can get bored with the same thing repeated over and over. Perhaps you could invent a new voice, or get a puppet or oven mitt to read the story. Maybe one of the pages suggests a song. Invent one, and add it for variety. Maybe you can interrupt the story with a little finger play. But your child may only want the story word for word, exactly as written. Perhaps you can memorize it, and test yourself each time it's asked for, giving your eyes a tiny rest.

	Do you have advice on where to read to a baby?
		One newly delivered mother told me she lay down on her bed, propped up by pillows, next to or cradling her infant, and read several picture books slowly. She said it calmed her down, and she noticed her baby really seemed to be looking and listening. Another tired mother lay down on the floor near her active crawling 8-month-old, picked up a book, and began to read. The "rug rat", her words of endearment, crawled over to her and nestled into her shoulder, listening and looking at the book with her. Reading can occur anywhere, and at any time: under a table, behind the sofa, in a comfortable chair, in a corner, on a bus. Reading opportunities are all around us: on cereal boxes, subway ads, street signs, on trucks and in shops. Reading begins when we put names to things, like face and body parts (nose, eye, arm, head, toe) and to feelings (you look sad/irritated/ cheerful/worried today). Keeping a book in the diaper bag means you are always ready to read or play.

		I have two children now. It was fairly easy to read to my older one, but now that the baby is here, I feel torn.
			Sitting on the floor or in a large chair and reading aloud attracts listeners. There always seems to be room on mother's lap (see On Mother's Lap) for more than one little one and a book. The baby will develop into a listener more readily because she will copy what the bigger kids do. Bigger kids will settle into sharing since the power of the story in the book usually captivates so thoroughly. Furthermore, the bigger kids get to choose the books and already understand that this activity will be fun. One suggestion: keep a pacifier, teething ring, extra board book, bottle or blankie handy for the baby who might not automatically get the picture. But it won't take long. Then you might have another problem: two children wanting two different books simultaneously. This needs some negotiating. Again, trust the power of the art and the stories to win the day. If one doesn't like the other one's selection, it'll be over soon. Most picture books are usually very brief.

Bedtime reading has become very difficult. My two-year-old knows a lot of books by heart and she still wants me to read to her. Recently, she has begun to "read" to her stuffed animals, parodying my reading to my baby. It's delightful, and also delays the bedtime enormously. Any suggestions?

I had that very same problem. My solution was an animal hand puppet. I could "be" the giraffe, and demand my book, "not that one, this one". Then suddenly, "I" would get tired, and nestle into my daughter's neck, saying "Mommy, I'm tired. One more book, please." She would smile, soften, "read" one last book, and quietly lie down with her giraffe baby. She told me to be quiet when leaving her bedside. I kissed both of them, whispering good night. Let me know what works in your family.